To clear the record…no, this is not a famous Skip Smiley quote. It is, however, a quote from the classic action movie They Live. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, it’s because I’m preparing for a high-risk covert operation where there is a probable chance of danger and distruction, so I’ve been having quite the action movie marathon. I’ve been taking tips from ‘The Governator’ and Stallone and it’s safe to say I am now highly qualified and trained for battle. I even bought a Nerf gun to defend myself on my misson. I should warn you…I may not come out of this experience as the same strapping Smiley I am today, so any ladies who would like to come to my place tonight for some quality time are more than welcome.

Here’s how it all began: 

  

While reading my GQ Magazine in the men’s lavatory at work the other day, I overheard a phone conversation from the next stall about the upcoming SmileyCentral iPhone app. I can’t tell you what I heard because I wouldn’t want to disclose any inaccurate information, which is why I will venture into the big, bad world of…(drumroll, please)… the super-secret, latched-and-locked SmileyCentral safe. Once I make it past the guards and break in, I will confirm the confidential information that I’ve heard and report back to you when (and if) I return.

Who thinks they know what the big news is? Shoot your ideas my way and if you’re right, I just may fill YOU in first! In case you never hear from me again, know that I love you all and that Inspectah Deck’s dog food is under the sink in the kitchen. He also likes a spoonful of caviar on top. Farewell and Godspeed.