Holidays
Happy Fourth!
Jul 4th
Haaappy Fourth of July!
I could not be in a better mood today! I woke up to strawberry and blueberry pancakes topped off with whipped cream, thanks to the best mom in the world. My parents are throwing our annual family reunion 4th of July barbecue today. Last night we decorated their house in all red white and blue. We ran into a few problems with things falling down, but my perfectly sun kissed muscles got the job done.
I’m veryyy excited for the pie eating contest! Of course I win every year. But what can I say? I play to win. I also can’t wait to see the fireworks! They’re my favorite part of the day. All of my cousins and I get blankets and eat ice cream together as we watch. No better way to celebrate our grand ol’ USA’s b-day!
To cheer up my family members who can’t make it to our amazing party today, I’m going to send them patriotic smileys! What are your Independence Day plans?
Alrighty, time for me to go taste test all of the cookies.
The Day of Dads
Jun 17th
Haaaappy Father’s Day peeps!
I was about to head over to see my old man when I realized that I had to remind everyone today is our dads’ big day. Like I said before, make sure you let dad take it easy. Even better, don’t forget you can have a one up over your siblings by sending pops your favorite Father’s Day smileys!
So get to it, folks, and enjoy the day!
Giving the Old Man a Break
Jun 12th
Hidey Hooooo!
I’m excited to say that this week we can tell our grand old dads Happy Father’s Day. Of course, I will also be telling mine that the meatloaf he made over the weekend had me in the bathroom for 3 days, but that’s another story.
My dad taught me pretty much everything I know, from being a handy man (always helpful with the ladies), to throwing a baseball- he was my professor in Swagger 101. Basically he taught me how to be just like him…awesome! Show dad how much you love and appreciate him by giving him a break from his usual fatherly tasks. Mow the lawn, grill the hot dogs and hamburgers for the Father’s Day BBQ, let him watch his sports games in peace…okay, almost in peace, or even bring him breakfast in bed.
And of course, you can always make your pop’s day even better by sending some Father’s Day smileys his way! They are funny and thoughtful- but better yet, they are easy on the wallet!
I’m out like a cub scout. Later!
Yo Mama So Special
May 10th
This weekend marks the celebration of mothers everywhwere, and I am proud to say I LOVE this holiday almost as much as I love my old lady. Who doesn’t have a soft spot in their heart for the women who bring us into this world…and who make AWESOME meatloaf? Am I right? For this weekend and this weekend only, let mom spit-wash your face, throw on her “mom jeans” and proudly drive her mini-van around town like she drove her old Ford Mustang ”back in the day” when her and your pops had to walk uphill for three miles to get to school.
I, for one, have downloaded the Mother’s Day Smiley Pack, on my iPhone, and have already begun sending sweet lovin’ to all of the mother figures in my life. To give the gift of a smile, make sure you grab this special collection of smileys…AND be glad that you won’t break the bank doin’ it!
Ahhh, Mayo Memories
May 1st
It’s the week of Cinco de Mayo, and good heavens, have I been nostalgic this week. I’ve been reminiscing on my Cincos past and thinking about all of the fond memories that have taken place on May 5th over the past several years. It’s been a hell of a ride. 
There was that one time I attempted to drink a margarita out of a straw sombrero…classic. Another time, I went to taco bell and ordered all of the tacos and burritos that they could make in 20 minutes…another classic. And my personal favorite, the time I entered the Cinco de Mayo air guitar competition in the Caribbean, where I came in second place and lost to a professional air guitarist. Who DOES that? In my opinion, that should be considered cheating, but whatever…I’m not bitter.
This week, I want you to fondly remember YOUR favorite Cinco memory and share it with me. Also, be sure to send Cinco Smileys on your iPhone and from your computer to all of your amigos.
While you’re preparing for the festivities this weekend by sending those, I’ll be drafting my appeal letter to the Association of Professional Air Guitarists. Catch you on the flip side.
Who’s Afraid of the Big, Bad Bunny?
Apr 3rd
Not I! I LOVE me some Easter.
Not only can I feast on a giant ham dinner with the rest of the Smiley family, but we’ve also got egg hunts, heaps of chocolate and family photos with the bunny at the mall. In fact, last year, the bunny looked a LOT like this girl I used to date back in college who insisted I call her FuFu.
But that’s enough about me…let’s talk about you!
With the festivities just around the corner, it’s time to get a head-start on sending your Easter greetings (in the form of Smileys, of course)! The Easter Smiley Pack is ready and waiting for you at the mobile store so you can send cute bunnies, chicks and egg-cited smileys to your loved ones just in time for them to think you haven’t forgotten about them. I’m always a fan of sending them during church, but that’s just me. Note: I do not condone this behavior, kids…I simply practice it.
Go grab the Easter Pack and give your Grammy a smile this Easter. Also, if you’re Grammy is cool enough to have an iPhone, give me her number and I’ll hook her up with my G-ma, who is in need of some technology lessons. Later, folks.
Hello From Sunny California!
Mar 27th
Hey all of my pale, overworked smiley fans!
I’m writing to you from my lawn chair as I sit poolside in Beverly Hills, California! My Spring Break plans got switched last minute when my grandma slipped and fell on a puddle of sunscreen after her aquatic aerobics class last weekend, so I decided to come visit my Uncle Merv here in Cali instead.
Since I’ve arrived, I’ve been doing nothing but relaxing at the beach, getting my tan on at the pool and eyeing up the stylish ladies on Rodeo Drive. None of them have been too friendly, but I’ve determined that they must just be intimidated by my ravishing good looks and sweater of manly chest hair. Oh well, can’t win ‘em all.
As I lay here with my shirley temple and copy of He’s Just Not That Into You, I’ve been sending all of my friends smileys from the Spring Break Smiley Pack. Like I planned last week, my ploy to make all of my homies ridiculously jealous is working. I’m telling you, these smileys work like a charm. Maybe if they’re lucky I’ll bring them home some shells or something…
For now, prepare to make YOUR friends jealous with smileys from the Spring Break Pack. But first, put down your cocktail…this is gonna be good.
Pack Up Your Speedo and Let’s Get Wet
Mar 21st
It’s one of my FAVORITE times of year… Spring Break. I know I’m not in school anymore, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get my jiggy on with all of the youngsters! I’ve packed up my suitcase and I’m ready to get rollin’. I’m staying with my Grandma in her lovely retirement community in Florida, but I’ll be close enough to Miami Beach that I can just take my scooter there at night and drop it like it’s hot.
To prepare for my trip, I have been sending scandalous, thirsty, beach-goin’ smileys from the Spring Break Smiley Pack to almost all of my friends. Why? It’s not every day one of us gets to venture out into the party scene and show off our mad dancin’ skillz. Not to mention, I’ll be taking a MAJOR pit stop at Disney.
Jealy? I know. Why don’t you make yourself feel better by sending fun, Spring Break Smileys of your own? Get to it, folks!
It’s time to get your party on.
Go Green (In Body Paint Like The Hulk)
Mar 14th
With St. Patrick’s Day right around the corner, I’ll be breaking out my green body paint (left over from when I was Frankensmiley for Halloween) and painting my entire bod from head-to-toe in true Irish spirit. I know, I know… try to control yourself. It WILL be incredibly sexy and my cut physique MIGHT make people faint. It’s to be expected.
In case the rest of you aren’t toned enough to become a mean, green, St. Pat’s machine like I am, I’ve got another option for you: St. Patrick’s Day iPhone Smileys. Not only can you get away with not having to slather your entire frame in paint, but you can actually send these from wherever you may be (cough, cough your local pub). They still say “festive and fun” but without the extensive clean-up or fear of perspiration.
WARNING: These smileys may make people swoon, anyway…they’re no competition for me, but they’re pretty dag-nab awesome.
March 17th is around the corner, so get your St. Patrick’s Day iPhone Smileys while you’re still…er…coherent. They’re jigging, they’re drinking, they’re celebrating and they’re awesome. The best thing about them? You can still easily send them to your friends and family in the middle of an Irish stepdance. True Story.
Happy Schmalentimes Day!
Feb 14th
For some, it’s the most romantic day of the year…for others, it’s just Tuesday.
Regardless of which bracket you happen to fall into, it’s VALENTINE’S DAY, whether you like it or not! I just wanted to drop in and tell you all a few things:
1) I’m wearing a red, silk robe that makes my skin feel as smooth as a baby’s bottom.
2) I’m boycotting chocolate this year, so I had my Nana send me 6-packs of yogurt instead. Strawberry…it’s healthy AND festively pink.
3) If you haven’t already, send some Valentine’s Day smileys on Facebook to remind your loved ones they’re not just a fart in the wind.
4) For those of you who are technologically advanced, send sweet V-Day smileys on iPhone to share your looooooove.
That is all. Enjoy your chocolates, you love muffins, you. Happy Valentine’s Day!