Breaking News
It’s International Woman’s Day!
Mar 8th
In honor of this joyous holiday, I have compiled a list of the top 5 reasons that I love women and shall celebrate today with my female companions. Here it is, in no specific order.
5) My mother is a woman. I love my mother. Pam Anderson is also a woman, and I love her too…almost more than my mother.
4) Women have overcome so many obstacles over the years, and for that they are powerful. You go girls!
3) Mini skirts.
2) Without women, I’m pretty sure I would have grown up like one of the warewolves in Twilight- ripped clothes, animalistic instincts and (still) strongly disliking Robert Pattinson.
1) Behind every man of the house, there’s a woman that’s the neck. She can turn the head any way she wants!
Happy International Woman’s Day all you foxy ladies!
Come On and Represent!
Mar 4th
Happy Fridayyyyyyy, love muffins. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I have to say I feel a lack of love going on here. For the record, Skip Smiley doesn’t like feeling unloved. I put so much work and dedication into this blog (and my manscaping) and sometimes I feel like I’m talking to my pet rock, Ozzy.
I would LOVE to get some feedback from my loyal fans about what I can do to help gauge your interest and get you to comment back, gosh darnit!
Do I need to have the Glee cast perform my blog posts in some kind of mash-up?
Should I ask Taylor Lautner to take his shirt off and read my posts as Jacob Black?
Should I rehearse my blog posts while performing some kind of ridiculous ‘Minute to Win It’ stunt?
What’s a Smiley gotta do?!?!? This goes without saying, but I would GREATLY APPRECIATE SOME KIND OF RESPONSE. Ozzy is quickly becoming my #1 fan and this is just unacceptable…
Godspeed and write back for dang sakes! Pretty please.
Everybody’s Irish on St.Patrick’s Day!
Mar 2nd
Top o’ the mornin’ to ya! Skip Smiley, here, bringing you some cheery ‘ol news, ey! St.Patrick’s Day is right around the bend, and do we have a treat for YOU! Our new SmileyCentral App for iPhone is ready to celebrate this joyous holiday, so we’re offering you an awesome St.Patrick’s Day Smiley pack for less than one dollar! You can get a dozen of our festive, little Smileys for practically nothing…think of all the extra green ale you can buy and the ladies you can woo!
These Irish Smileys (whom I’ve appropriately named Patrick, Pat, Patty, and Pat O’Patrick) are the perfect way to send some cheer to your fellow Irish lads (or non-Irish friends…we don’t discriminate). Inject your text messages, emails and Facebook posts with these irresistible little fellas!
To download and read more about our app, visit us on iTunes. Then, once you’ve got the goods, head to SmileyCentral Mobile on Facebook to rate our app!
Cheerio, people! ‘Till next time…peace, love and shamrocks.
Smileys Gone Wild!
Feb 25th
I know, I know…you must have all missed me terribly. Don’t fret, though! I’m back in action and more dapper than ever. I will apologize for my vacay from blog posting, but I will not apologize for the absurd amount of manscaping that I have accomplished in the last 15 days or so. I’m well on my way to Brad Pitt status.
Enough about me, though. I want to know about YOU. How many of you have downloaded SmileyCentral’s funky fresh iPhone app?!
With St. Patrick’s Day and Spring Break right around the corner, our Smiley team has been super busy designing some new, outrageous collections of holiday Smileys. There’s a possibility you MAY see some tipsy Smileys make their way into the St.Patty’s Day bundle, as well as a slew of naughty, mischevious Smileys looking for some fun in the Spring Break bundle. Just maybe…
*NOTE: I may or may not have hacked into the Smiley storing system to find this baby filed under SmileyCentral’s ”Spring Break” iPhone Collection:
Smileys Gone Wild, baby! Wait ’til you see what we’ve got in store for you. Also, please note that we do not condone the behavior of our Smileys…we simply like to exhibit them as social examples. When I saw the new collections, my eyes lit up bigger than they did when I got to meet Chuck Norris in the Whole Foods near my house. I was in the produce aisle when…well, I guess it’s not about that, is it?
What I’m saying is you will NOT be disappointed. Head here to read up on and download our app, and THEN, be sure to check out our Facebook page to rate it and stay tuned on the latest updates!
‘Til next time. Hair grease and world peace, homies.
SmileyCentral Has Gone Mobile, Y’all!
Feb 17th
Hellloooooo muffins! How are you on this splendid February day?! I’m doing just peachy. Why, you ask? Well, because SmileyCentral has gone mobile and we’re now available on iPhone! WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!
I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time and it’s finally arrived. I’ve been so busy playing with my iPhone I nearly forgot to write a blog post to tell you about this excellent news! Anyway, I got the iPhone app right before Valentine’s day, so I was able to send all the ladies in my life some free lovin’! Holla!
Not only can I get holiday Smileys from this oh-so-spectacular app, but they also have Smileys for everyday use- one for each and every mood. On top of Smileys, though, the app also has Graphics for gifting and sending and much, much more. Now you can add some va-va-voom to your text messages, emails and Facebook posts straight from your phone. Read more about it here!
Anyway, I’m off to play with SC for iPhone some more so don’t expect to hear a peep out of me (unless you’re one of the lucky ones I decide to text)! Hasta la vista and Godspeed, homies. Check ya later!
I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick @$$…and I’m all out of bubble gum.
Jan 20th
To clear the record…no, this is not a famous Skip Smiley quote. It is, however, a quote from the classic action movie They Live. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, it’s because I’m preparing for a high-risk covert operation where there is a probable chance of danger and distruction, so I’ve been having quite the action movie marathon. I’ve been taking tips from ‘The Governator’ and Stallone and it’s safe to say I am now highly qualified and trained for battle. I even bought a Nerf gun to defend myself on my misson. I should warn you…I may not come out of this experience as the same strapping Smiley I am today, so any ladies who would like to come to my place tonight for some quality time are more than welcome.
Here’s how it all began:
While reading my GQ Magazine in the men’s lavatory at work the other day, I overheard a phone conversation from the next stall about the upcoming SmileyCentral iPhone app. I can’t tell you what I heard because I wouldn’t want to disclose any inaccurate information, which is why I will venture into the big, bad world of…(drumroll, please)… the super-secret, latched-and-locked SmileyCentral safe. Once I make it past the guards and break in, I will confirm the confidential information that I’ve heard and report back to you when (and if) I return.
Who thinks they know what the big news is? Shoot your ideas my way and if you’re right, I just may fill YOU in first! In case you never hear from me again, know that I love you all and that Inspectah Deck’s dog food is under the sink in the kitchen. He also likes a spoonful of caviar on top. Farewell and Godspeed.
I Want a Cee Lo Green and T-Swizzle Collaboration
Jan 14th
As of recent, I have to say I’m a sucker for catchy songs telling the opposite sex that they screwed up. What am I SAYING? This isn’t recent at all. In fact, I’ve always been a sucker for spiteful anthems, but today I had a revelation. How AMAZING would it be if Taylor Swift and Cee Lo Green got together and sang the world’s most intense “you’ll be sorry” song?!?! It might be the best thing that has happened since I realized I could balance a kazoo on my nose for three hours straight. Yes, 3 hours straight…did I stutter? I know, I know- I’m amazing…
Moving on.
This three-day weekend, I pledge to you, my loyal fans, that I will draft a letter to Cee Lo and T-Swizzle explaining the urgent and imperative nature of this collaboration. In addition to this important task, I also pledge to send at least 5 Smileys from SmileyCentral or Webfetti for every line in my letter to the duo who shall now be referred to as CeeSwiz. Get it…Cee Lo and T-Swizzle? Genius, I tell you.
This is going to be epic, people. Stay tuned and maybe if you’re lucky I’ll share my masterpiece with you once I finish. For now, I’m off to my beat laboratory to come up with some potential jam names for CeeSwiz. Catch ya later, homies. Have a GREAT weekend and I’ll talk to you soon. Oh, and if you have any awesome song names you’d like me to pass along, please feel free to send them!
iCame, iSaw, iConquered
Jan 11th
This is BIG, people. Remember my last post about that top-secret SmileyCentral iPhone app? Well, I have glorious news. This morning I decided to embrace my alter ego, Ninja Skip, by sneaking through the air vents of SmileyCentral to eavesdrop on the latest and greatest iPhone app info. Note: Please don’t try this at home, kids.
Not only do I come to you now with remarkable developments, but I also come to you with a hole in my skivvies and a wedgie so high up that I’m pretty sure my voice is several octives higher than it was this morning. It was all in the name of sound news reporting, though, so I’ll deal. Anyway… I found out four very important things about this App.
1. It won’t ONLY contain Smileys. It will also contain tons of fun ‘fetti to send. Bonus!
2. This radical application will probably be released within the next month. Cross your fingers.
3. It will be FREE! Mwahahahaha.
4. One of the guys developing the app is named Tyler. He ate a grilled cheese and ham sandwich for lunch.
Try to remain calm and collected. If anyone approaches you asking what you know about this top-secret application, tell them that you were alone in your bedroom watching Criminal Minds re-runs and you haven’t the slightest idea what they are talking about. Then turn around and run as fast as you can.
Play it cool, everyone. Over and out.
Tell ‘em what they’ve won, Skip!
Dec 21st
To bring you this breaking news, I’ve decided to take a brief hiatus from roasting marshmallows while lying nude on my bearskin rug. That’s how you know this is important…
Now that ‘The 12 Days of Skipster’ Holiday Giveaway is complete, twelve lucky winners are taking home some Skip-tastic swag! What KINDS of Skip-tastic swag, you ask? Well, I’ll sing it for you (The 12 Days of Christmas-style) if you promise to use your imagination to hum the tune (which is really unfortunate because I’ve been called the songbird of my generation). Please bear with me, as my rhyming skillz need some brushing up.
On the first day of Skipster my Smiley gave to me: a key necklace from Tiffany’s.
On the second day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: Boxers with the face of Skip Smiley.
On the third day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: A set of glasses for Martinis.
On the fourth day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: Gift wrap with the face of Skip Smiley.
On the fifth day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: A 16GB iPod Nano (hold that o!) 
On the sixth day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: A mug with the face of Skip Smiley.
On the seventh day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: A $100 gift card for some stuff from Macy’s.
On the eighth day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: A Christmas tie with the face of Skip Smiley.
On the ninth day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: Coasters with the face of Skip Smiley.
On the tenth day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: A bathrobe with the face of Skip Smiley.
On the eleventh day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: An awesome t-shirt with the face of Skip Smiley.
On the twelfth day of Skipster, my Smiley gave to me: A $100 gift card to Spafinder.com for a mani/pedi (or facial, or massage, or waxing or something, but none of that rhymed). 
There you have it, my love muffins. We’ve wrapped up the contest and we’ve put some more shiz under some Christmas trees this year. We want to know what you thought of the contest, so send me a response with some feedback or follow me on Facebook here!
And that‘s the quick and dirty. Skip Smiley, signing off.