Happy Fourth!
Jul 4th
Haaappy Fourth of July!
I could not be in a better mood today! I woke up to strawberry and blueberry pancakes topped off with whipped cream, thanks to the best mom in the world. My parents are throwing our annual family reunion 4th of July barbecue today. Last night we decorated their house in all red white and blue. We ran into a few problems with things falling down, but my perfectly sun kissed muscles got the job done.
I’m veryyy excited for the pie eating contest! Of course I win every year. But what can I say? I play to win. I also can’t wait to see the fireworks! They’re my favorite part of the day. All of my cousins and I get blankets and eat ice cream together as we watch. No better way to celebrate our grand ol’ USA’s b-day!
To cheer up my family members who can’t make it to our amazing party today, I’m going to send them patriotic smileys! What are your Independence Day plans?
Alrighty, time for me to go taste test all of the cookies.
Back from the Wilderness
Jun 24th
I’m baaaack!
Hiking time has come and gone and I’m proud to let you know this handsome face survived the wilderness. I had a great time with my friends and luckily we were not attacked by any bears, snakes, or coyotes. We did a little swimming (of course my bathing suit accentuated my perfectly toned bod), sat around the camp fire, and listened to some rockin’ tunes. I have to admit, I told some scary stories that would even frighten my Uncle Marty.
Anyway, I want to plan a party at my beach house. It’ll be the perfect combo of tanning, barbequing, swimming, surfing, and s’mores. What better way to celebrate the start of summer with family and friends? But I have to make sure I wear a ton of sunscreen. Otherwise, I end up looking like a cherry tomato! The sun is very harsh on us smileys.
Are there other activities you recommend? I love a good party and I want to make sure it’s the most fun it can be!
Alrightyyy, off to go take a beauty nap. It’s hard work looking this good.
Hidey Ho, Campers!
Jun 19th
As most of you can tell by my brawny physique and chiseled arms, I’m quite the outdoorsman. Not only do I fish, hike and hunt, but I play a mean game of flashlight tag, to boot.
This week I’m lacing up my hiking shoes and hitting the trails with a bunch of friends in the fine New York Catskills. We’ll tell ghost stories, go fishin’ and eat more s’mores than we can possibly digest in one sitting. It’s going to be epic. Though this IS my first time going camping in the actual wilderness (I’ve camped in my backyard with my Uncle Marty before), I’m only slightly concerned about being mauled by a bear or poisoned by a rattlesnake. To fend them off, I plan on bringing along a rape whistle (to startle the bears) and my stuffed animal “Slither,” a friendly python I won at the Jersey Shore boardwalk. Hollaaa!!!
If you’ve got any camping tips or tricks for me, I’ll gladly accept them. I have to get back to practicing for my big weekend: I’m pitching a tent in my living room, holding my bladder for 6 hours straight and living off of nothing but marshmallows and lukewarm water for the next 48 hours. Now, that’s what I call “roughing it”!
The Day of Dads
Jun 17th
Haaaappy Father’s Day peeps!
I was about to head over to see my old man when I realized that I had to remind everyone today is our dads’ big day. Like I said before, make sure you let dad take it easy. Even better, don’t forget you can have a one up over your siblings by sending pops your favorite Father’s Day smileys!
So get to it, folks, and enjoy the day!
Giving the Old Man a Break
Jun 12th
Hidey Hooooo!
I’m excited to say that this week we can tell our grand old dads Happy Father’s Day. Of course, I will also be telling mine that the meatloaf he made over the weekend had me in the bathroom for 3 days, but that’s another story.
My dad taught me pretty much everything I know, from being a handy man (always helpful with the ladies), to throwing a baseball- he was my professor in Swagger 101. Basically he taught me how to be just like him…awesome! Show dad how much you love and appreciate him by giving him a break from his usual fatherly tasks. Mow the lawn, grill the hot dogs and hamburgers for the Father’s Day BBQ, let him watch his sports games in peace…okay, almost in peace, or even bring him breakfast in bed.
And of course, you can always make your pop’s day even better by sending some Father’s Day smileys his way! They are funny and thoughtful- but better yet, they are easy on the wallet!
I’m out like a cub scout. Later!
Help Me Help You
May 18th
Okay, peeps… it’s time for some real talk.
Week after week, you come back here to listen to me blabber on about our awesome smileys and our latest mobile packs, but now I’m going to turn the tables, Adele-style. I want to hear from YOU about what you want to see from us. The sky is the limit, so be creative.
Want to suggest some new smiley packs for your iPhone? Go ahead…we won’t judge if you want a Justin Bieber Smiley Pack. Okay, maybe we will a little bit, but anyway… let us know what you would want to see on your celly. Want a nerd pack or a sexy pack? No problem. We can create what you want, but we need to know what interests you first!
Hoping to see more birthday smileys or naughty smileys on Webfetti? That can also be arranged. Bow chicka wow wow! Throw us a bone here, homies. I’ll be eagerly awaiting your responses while I design a couture leisure suit online for my dog, Inspectah Deck.
Carry on…
Yo Mama So Special
May 10th
This weekend marks the celebration of mothers everywhwere, and I am proud to say I LOVE this holiday almost as much as I love my old lady. Who doesn’t have a soft spot in their heart for the women who bring us into this world…and who make AWESOME meatloaf? Am I right? For this weekend and this weekend only, let mom spit-wash your face, throw on her “mom jeans” and proudly drive her mini-van around town like she drove her old Ford Mustang ”back in the day” when her and your pops had to walk uphill for three miles to get to school.
I, for one, have downloaded the Mother’s Day Smiley Pack, on my iPhone, and have already begun sending sweet lovin’ to all of the mother figures in my life. To give the gift of a smile, make sure you grab this special collection of smileys…AND be glad that you won’t break the bank doin’ it!
Ahhh, Mayo Memories
May 1st
It’s the week of Cinco de Mayo, and good heavens, have I been nostalgic this week. I’ve been reminiscing on my Cincos past and thinking about all of the fond memories that have taken place on May 5th over the past several years. It’s been a hell of a ride. 
There was that one time I attempted to drink a margarita out of a straw sombrero…classic. Another time, I went to taco bell and ordered all of the tacos and burritos that they could make in 20 minutes…another classic. And my personal favorite, the time I entered the Cinco de Mayo air guitar competition in the Caribbean, where I came in second place and lost to a professional air guitarist. Who DOES that? In my opinion, that should be considered cheating, but whatever…I’m not bitter.
This week, I want you to fondly remember YOUR favorite Cinco memory and share it with me. Also, be sure to send Cinco Smileys on your iPhone and from your computer to all of your amigos.
While you’re preparing for the festivities this weekend by sending those, I’ll be drafting my appeal letter to the Association of Professional Air Guitarists. Catch you on the flip side.
It’s Drafty in Here…
Apr 25th
Let’s get ready to rumbleeeeeeeeeee!
Tomorrow is the first day of the NFL draft and I am SO ready. It’s like Hunger Games, except getting picked is WAY less horrific. I bought munchies, a new Giants Snuggie and I have my football smileys ready to go on my iPhone so I can taunt my friends from my recliner.
If you haven’t yet done so, I suggest your get your (quarter)back-side over to iTunes to get the Football Pack so you’re not the only fan without some pigskin smileys for tomorrow’s draft picks.
Anddddddd break!
Monday Grumbles
Apr 23rd
Is it me, or is it definitely a Monday up in hurr?! Everyone is moody, it’s gloomy outside and no one seems to be entertained by my spontaneous dance party. Normally the ladies in the office swoon over my epic moves to ABBA’s Greatest Hits. Whatever…
I just wanted to stop by to ask you all to please put away your moody boots and get you OM on. You know…like in Yoga. OMMMMM. Say it with me… “OMMM”.
It’s almost Tuesday and you can all go back to being your normal fine-lookin’ selves. In the meantime, don’t forget to smile. It cheers you up. It also sometimes makes people think you just farted, which is awesome. Hasta la vista, grumpypants.